Okay what the fuck. What the fuck happened? What the fuck do we do now? Why the fuck do we have a stress rash? The five stages of fucking grief: denial (no fucking way), anger (this is a fucking joke and I will never fucking accept it), bargaining (bring back fucking Bush/Cheney; I will take 3 fucking terms of Mitt Romney), depression (fucking pizza, fucking starvation, fucking sex, fucking drugs, fucking booze), and fucking acceptance? (not fucking yet, but why the fuck is the media acting like this is normal? This isn't fucking normal? Why are we not taking to the streets?????).

We also share what has helped us not fucking slit our wrists thus far. 


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With the ease of seeking information from WebMD comes additional anxiety. In the name of finding out more information about your symptoms, you could actually cause yourself to be sick with panic and anxiety. There are no win-win situations when it comes to being proactive about your health using the world wide web's symptom checkers. There are a couple of kinds of health-related anxiety: obsessively checking symptoms and avoiding dealing with issues altogether, including not watching television about medicine (good thing ER is no longer on the air). People who obsessively use the Internet to diagnose themselves and convince themselves they have a disease are called cyberchondriacs. Valerie is probably a cyberchondriac. Probably. Regina has tips for using the Internet for good when it comes to health. If you have a diagnosed medical condition you might be able to find support from other people with the same condition using Internet resources. Hernia is a stupid word, everyone has a vitamin D deficiency, and Regina used to play sand volleyball.

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How are we supposed to deal with an onslaught of ongoing terrible news? Valerie and Regina get tips on preparing for a mass shooting in the workplace or a Cici's Pizza from the Department of Homeland Security, the Art of Manliness blog, and survivalist coworkers. Plus an interview with Laura, the high school teacher who teaches aging in her sociology class by letting her students watch Big. She describes a high school mass shooting drill and why moving to Denmark or cowering in fear are not the answers to avoiding tragedy. Regina and Laura make Valerie jealous when they share stories of hot grocery store workers throwing apples in their faces. Does anyone know what a parsnip is?

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