Comedian, writer, and folk musician Matt Flynn joins Help Wanted to talk about going out and about living life and doing activities solo versus with a pal/partner. Plus Valerie has a lot of junk mail and Reggie's a fan of Discount Tire. We also talk about independent singleness versus relationshipness. Sponsored by Boo Cards, business cards that arrive so quickly, it's scary!

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Valerie and Reggie talk about dental bling. Lauren Cohen from Hope and Humor Therapy joins us to discuss emotionally engaged dating. She talks about the "cool chick" phenomena and gives us permission to be fully communicate our wants and needs in dating scenarios. Apparently if we don't communicate and respect our needs, they come out anyway in weird ways (for instance we may spend $300 on lipsticks that are all the same shade of red or eat a box of blueberry cake donuts, just as examples, we've never actually done those things. We swear!).This episode is sponsored by Walgreen's, the Randall's of drug stores. Walgreen's for when you need Loreal Voluminous Mascara and everywhere else is closed. 

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We chat with comedian and reader Angie Yaeyama about the book Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How it Can Help You Find—and Keep—Love by Amir Levine. Angie shares how reading it helped her recognize her attachment style (three to choose from: anxious, avoidant, and secure), and how that can change depending on what attachment style the person she's in a relationship exhibits. Plus Valerie's unsure if she should go on a third date and Reggie hung out with her nephew's nephew. Angie runs a book club in Austin for female-identifying folks called Empathy for the Win - bookclub. Interested people can join on Facebook. Sponsored by that Cute Chick Who's Banging Your Ex and Posting Photos of their Smug Happy Ass Faces on Facebook. 

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Do you have a problem with gossip? It might not even be a problem. Because we like finding loopholes for trash talking, Help Wanted found research to support that gossip can be healthy for forming social bonds. Some folks even believe that Neanderthals gossiped and that fire, grooming, and hunting and gathering all provided venues for the chatty cave people of yore to comment on Becki's messy hair and Dylan's bitchy attitude. We also contemplate differences between caramel, butterscotch, and toffee. Reggie is not a fan of Paula Abdul, but loves a PayDay and a hollow chocolate Santa Claus, while Valerie's fave candy is a PB Reese's egg. This episode sponsored by Magic 8 Balls. 

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Valerie's new thing is Korean sheet masks. Reggie's starting off 2017 with a freer schedule and training sessions. We discuss the mysteries of the calendar and why we all have other people's events on it. Comedian and performer Tim Brewer talks with us about relationships and how and when to define them, dropping the L-bomb, break ups, and the secrets women may reveal in the way they kiss. He shares the story of how he got together with his wife—a story with twists, turns, a renunciation of faith, some bands Valerie's never heard of, and a raccoon-infested Wes Anderson-type house. Plus a trip down memory lane to a simpler time, called the early 2000s, on a show called Sex and The City, when Carrie Bradshaw wore Aidan's whitey tighties. This episode is sponsored by Desk Sandwich, a snack that seems not that great anywhere else, is actually not that bad while scrolling through your Facebook feed, reading depressing stories on Politico during your lunch break. 

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Valerie and Reggie talk NYE, surgery, and share clips from some of their favorite episodes of 2016: bathroom etiquette, imposter syndrome, settling (with guest Wyatt Tall), comparison, and vulnerability (with guest Lauren Cohen of Hope and Humor Therapy) and polyamory (with guest Jessica Taylor). Plus buttery nipples and dirty hospital floors. 

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Performer, comedy writer, and Bridal Extravaganza-crasher Joseph Tran joins Help Wanted to tell us how best to engage in controversy over social media and how to shut down a fight. We chat about fake news, why people are so much more apt to get a tiff over Facebook, and Kanye West (note this episode was recorded before he met w/Trump). Plus who's got the better chicken: Raising Cane's or Chick Fil A (and is it okay to eat there?) This episode sponsored by Forever Young Face Cream, specially formulated with the semen of John Stamos. 

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The holidays post-election are a good time to practice empathy. Valerie shares tips for practicing and exhibiting empathy (when we're on the phone with customer service people, when people have different viewpoints and you don't want to be an explosive tornado in your personal life!). Reggie, on the other hand, thinks too much empathy can be bad. Also describing yourself as an empath sounds so silly.

Like an old married couple, Valerie and Regina missed their one year anniversary last week.

Plus former president Bill Quentin, penicillin allergies, shrimp are sneaky tricksters who want to kill us, The Secret, running in the rain, hidden Twitter, and should you go out with a person with a weird last name who's too tall and who said something stupid 4 years ago if they ask you out via Facebook? It's just coffee.

Sponsored by plaid shirts, the number one shirt for men of any age. Shirts have been around since the dawn of torsos and plaid has been around since shortly after solid colors. This holiday season get the men in your life the thing they've always wanted and already have: plaid shirts.

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Valerie and Reggie disclose their Thanksgiving family dramas. Are mashed potatoes and canned cranberries worth the blathering messy fights? Apparently. Regina used the expensive tools she's garnered through therapy to express her feelings maturely to her mother. Meanwhile Valerie forgot altogether that she's ever tried to be an evolved human being. Valerie watched a Lifetime-eaque Christmas-y movie called Angel Sings where Connie Britton is cast in the most awful, non-complex role, but Willie Nelson and bunch of other Austin musicians perform, which was alright. We're joined by Help Wanted pal and comedian Wyatt Tall who talks with us about Lori Gottlieb's controversially titled book "Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough," and all the things we wish we'd known when we were younger about dating. Or not. We talk about deal breakers; Gottlieb advises narrowing it down to 3. Tough stuff. This is our milestone 52nd episode! Thanks for listening vageenas! This episode sponsored by: These Undies, random underwear left on the bedroom floor.


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Erotic romance writer and ethical non-monogamist Jessica Taylor has an honest conversation with Help Wanted about polyamory, swinging, and alternative relationships. Why is it more socially acceptable to cheat than it is to be out in the world as a polyamorist? What are misconceptions? What's the difference between polyamory and swinging? What are the advantages (awareness about oneself) and challenges (feeling like the odd man out)? What's a triad, a quad, a "v," and a unicorn? Jessica goes through a glossary of terms, shares her experience of how she found this lifestyle, and discusses resources, including podcasts, that are helpful for people exploring ethical non-monogamy. Podcasts change lives and can turn people into polyamorists!

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We have a hard time connecting with people because we are terrible listeners. Everyone feels like their opinions are the most important. So if you want to connect with people, listen to them and treat them like they're a star when they're talking to you. Or, if that doesn't work, just gossip about someone you both can't stand.

Valerie has a hard time believing people gossip about her, and is a rageful meditator. Regina ate a Big Boy in Detroit and prefers connecting with friends over ice cream.

Also, did you know Valerie had a birthday? She talked about it for a month and finally it happened and hopefully she won't bring it up in any future episodes. Until next year.

Plus Prince, birding, Avon, and Mary Kay.

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Author and journalist Wendy Paris talks about good divorce and her book Splitopia: Dispatches from Today's Good Divorce and How to Part Well. Paris, who has written for the New York Times, Washington Post, and New York Observer, talks about her own experience with divorce (which includes a cross-country move with ex), why endings aren't failures, how to be your highest self in the midst of a painful breakup by following her 7 principles of parting. She also touches on the topic of dealing with friends (divvying up?) post-divorce, co-parenting, practicing self-compassion, throwing divorce parties, counseling and prenups, and the consciously uncoupled: Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin and other celebrities whose divorces were not the worst things ever, like Jennifer Gardner.

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Regina talks about codependency, the "disease of the lost self," and recovery from it, based on her own experiences and the resources she's found helpful such as Melody Beattie's book Codependency No More. What does codependent behavior look like?  Valerie uses this opportunity to figure out whether or not she is codependent. Regina thinks Brangelina are a little unhealthy and Valerie, wary of the altruistic, dares to ask the question on on all ourminds...Mother Teresa: nice gal or codependent? Plus, Ash Wednesday, "kind of" Catholicism, Uruguayan massage therapists named Jorge, and panties vs. undies vs. knickers.

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Comedian, actress, and online dater Kim Stacy shares her experience with dating apps Tinder and Bumble. Her advice for successful dating: be honest about your intentions, use photos that highlight your personality, know your hell nos, never leave anything you want to see again at a guy's house, and be selective about giving out your digits. Oh, and always flirt with a Baldwin brother, even if it's the bloated one from Celebrity Intervention. We cover what makes an activity good for a first meeting (drinks/coffee) and what could be a trap (lengthy miniature golf courses). Regina can't stand the large number of men posing with fish on dating apps. Valerie will date a 55 year old if he looks like Hugh Laurie. Everyone would date Luke from Gilmore Girls.

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Is it ever appropriate to contact an ex? Do we seek validation from our past loves? Regina's ex creepily contacts her. Valerie believes you CAN be friends with an ex, and the frequency of contact can increase the farther away they live and lengthier the time you've spent apart. She thinks maybe there's an equation somewhere in that theory. Justin "Throw Some Skin in the Game" Dehn is a big believer in a 3 to 6 month post-breakup moratorium on talking to exes. He's also the most mature, highest road taker when it comes to running into the them. Regina and Valerie share tips about when it's appropriate (on a birthday or when someone dies) and when it's not (when you're drunk and lonely or you need some wood hauled) to reach out to an ex. And the whole gang brainstorms ideas for getting over an ex: banging a drum at a sweat lodge, visiting Haiti, or blowing it out a little with some Montreal rebound sex. #ThereforeTrue #PainIsHard

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How will Valerie deal with her mom bringing all of the sugar from the upper Midwest to Austin for the holidays? Regina has tips on gift-giving, guilt-ridden gifts, and bow overcompensation. Wanna know how to have an effective breakdown around your family in the organic dairy section of the grocery store? Valerie's got the answers. If you'd rather learn about how to deal with family over the holidays sans breakdowns, we have tips from the much more qualified Therese Borchard.

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